The Bats Brought Me Back
This is a story about a roost of bats, one cat and a woman coming home to herself, beneath the glow of the Aquarius full moon.
It has been nearly six months since I published my last article on Substack.
Spring came and the rain stopped. The light returned, flowers bloomed and berries grew. I received in the Akashic Records to “keep writing your Substack” but instead, I deleted the app off my phone and left it unchecked for months. I didn't know why I had to step away but in my heart and soul, it felt 100% necessary.
On the evening of July 29th, the full moon in Aquarius, clarity came. The house was quiet and dark. The children were asleep and Juuso, my husband, had just returned home from a short walk down our road to the forest. Earlier that night, our cat Talluah had caught and killed a Little Brown Bat from our daughter Honu’s balcony and left it on the floor of her room as a gift for us. Rather than bury it, he carried it down to the forest floor to offer as a gift of nourishment for whoever happened by. Along the way, he also found a dead snake.
We were reflecting together on how magical the night had been. One of openings, completions and profound realizations. Because Talluah didn’t just kill a bat, she found their roost. Apparently we have a whole family of bats (most likely dozens and dozens) living in the structural beam off Honu’s bedroom. Talluah had killed one and left it as a gift the night before as well. One kill is a cat doing her job. The second is a message: “pay attention, I’m working.”
Talluah is my soulmate, my familiar and she works in majestic ways. I didn’t understand her wisdom and guidance at first but now I know that whenever she’s up to something, “she’s working.” She’s sharing guidance, helping me clear and elevating me beyond my current seeing. I hear her telepathically.
She recently got out of her harness and ran away. She never goes far, but we live on a mountain, in a rainforest, with at least a dozen predators close by that would love to devour her for lunch. In the past, I’ve chased after her calling her name until I can catch her, but this last time I did it differently. I approached her slowly. I spoke Finnish to her, which she loves. I meowed at her, which she also loves. She meowed back, lay down on her back and allowed me to rub her belly and pick her up. As I walked home with her, I heard her say: “This is how you will now approach life. Firm boundaries with a calm and gentle tone.”
Before we go on, I have an activity for you.
Go to your camera roll on your phone. Look back to the week of February 17, 2026.
What happened? What were you up to?
If you need more information, go to your calendar. Scroll back through your text messages and emails. What was going on for you? This was the week of the new moon in Aquarius.
This is one of my full moon rituals and so of course, I had done it earlier that day.
The new moon opens a cycle, planting seeds in the dark. The very next full moon, in the same sign, illuminates what has grown. This means, everything that was opened and planted in February is now ready to harvest.
It did not surprise me at all when I realized that I stepped away from this space during that week. I also opened a conversation around restructuring ownership of my company. And, amongst many other things, started fascia flossing. It was an eventful week!
I recently took my first real break from work since becoming an entrepreneur a decade ago. I was sitting in my garden, debating on whether to record a podcast for the week or not. Although my mind was thinking “wellll I guess I could do it,” my body was screaming “no, no, no, no take time, take. break.” And so, I listened.
I wasn’t aware of how badly I needed this or how much I had been waiting for this opening, this exact moment since 2022.
It was that year that I left everything I knew behind and set forth on a new adventure.
My marriage - over.
My house - sold.
My things - gone.
a line within, my company - crumbling alongside everything.
I lived in 16 places in 4.5 months and was so deeply traumatized, it took years to feel safe again.
I was also falling in love with my new husband. Growing my son. Living every day as a new beginning. And doing my best to find myself along the way.
Still, I have not known how to show up for my company since then. I have been the sole financial provider for my family, while pregnant and postpartum. During the process of dismantling my life, I had also outgrown the identity of Ashley Wood, owner of A Line Within, and my new identity, Ashley Hämäläinen, founder of a line within, had not yet formed.
I had been feeling a pull back to this space for quite some time. As I outgrew old identities around how I work and how I want to run my company, the subconscious belief that I need to be on Instagram also began to give way. I used to share my entire life there, every single day. It helped grow my company to seven figures in less than a year when I first started. But now, I feel dizzy by the rapid pace of it. So much information, such fast talking, and I just don’t care half the time. I’m not closing the door on that app, but finally allowing myself to admit that my participation there will never be what it once was.
Earlier this month, I was notified that my (very quiet) Substack had made it to the rising list. I had not posted for months and so you can imagine how surprised I was to receive this news. For a moment, I was #67 on the rising list in philosophy. The next day, it was gone.
Nothing is a coincidence, nor random. My birthday is on 6/7. It was a call back, to a new space, to tend to seeds that are ready to grow.
As for the other important mentions from the new moon week in February, I am now the founder of a line within. I am not sharing this role or title with anyone else. I have always been a co-founder, which felt safe. I could stand beside (or even behind) someone else. Now, I see this is the only way forward, and I am excited. And the fascia flossing, we’ll get into that on another day.
Through the time I recently took for myself to just feel and receive, I became so clear on how I want to live. How I want to run my company and how she, a line within, wants to grow.
During the past few weeks, I have taken full responsibility for literally everything in my life, especially the roots of my deepest frustrations and pain points. Rather than blame someone else, I see how I have enabled the behaviours of others, allowed myself to be treated in certain ways and why I have remained in certain cycles and patterns for such a long time. Suddenly, every question I had about why I was struggling — financially, in my body, in my life — was answered: I had been carrying everything for everyone, and calling it love.
Which brings me to the bats. I mentioned Talluah killed two and found the roost, which has been in our home most likely all along. We’ve always watched them at dusk and she caught a few last summer too, also from the balcony, that she brought into the house. We could never understand how she did this, but as a skilled hunter, we didn’t doubt her. And yet, we’ve been sharing a home with them this whole time.
I spent July finding out what was living inside of my own architecture and, as always, the obvious steps forward have been here all along, hidden beneath my fatigue and depletion. I didn’t discover anything new this month, I located what was already within the columns.
The bats are still with us. They’re on the endangered list here so we’ve called conservation to let them know. Talluah stays inside at dusk and we all peacefully share the same space.
And so, I am back here.
If you’re a previous subscriber, you’ll notice a name change.
Light of the Way to the middle space
A handle change.
@lightoftheway to @alnwithin
I had no idea why I was called to take a pause from this space back in February, but I am so glad I did. Consistency doesn’t equal machinery. We are seasonal beings, look to nature for proof of this. She does not bloom every day, all day. Even in climates that are warm throughout the year, the plant-world still has seasons. Blooms go dormant. Leaves fall off. The soil beneath is nourished and then life returns again.
The new name here, the ‘middle space’ is a term we use at a line within. It is a space within you. The centred ground from which you can see your life clearly, both what no longer serves you and where you are going next. You can see it with patience, with neutrality, with love for yourself. The middle space is where you are closest to your own quietness, the stillness underneath everything. When you are riding a wave of emotion or moving through a great challenge, the middle space is where you can watch yourself move through it rather than be swept away by it. My work here is designed to bring you back to that place.
I will write. Send voice notes. And share the occasional video. I see this space as one component of the universe of a line within. One doorway to enter to come in and play. We will talk about coming home to yourself. The body, the nervous system, and what it takes to truly live in your own skin. Intuition and the quiet knowing that runs deeper than thought. Authenticity, truth-telling, and the courage it takes to choose yourself. And daily life made sacred: food, movement, nature, the small beautiful moments that remind you life is a miracle and your existence is not random.
This is the era of authenticity, after all. We are all moving through so much change and refinement, coming home to who we truly are, and I want this to be a place that holds you while you do.
And, of course, I’ll channel the Akashic Records, which is my greatest gift to share. There is no fixed schedule here. Things arrive when they are ready, written from the season we are in.
I am happy to be back. Thank you for being here. xx